The Right Way to Choose a College?

Recently, The Wall Street Journal published an article called The Right Way to Choose a College. As my own daughter prepares to make her college decision, I’m also in a stage of inhaling any information that might help me support her decision-making process.

Here’s what stuck with me:

Ask the right questions. Asking questions like “Where do you want to go?” and “What do you want to do?” are hard to answer if your teenager really has no idea.

As you have conversations with your child, pay attention to his/her style. One thing I found I was doing ‘wrong’ was focusing on all of the different options and excitement that goes with them. After I asked if my daughter was interested in a gap year or semester, she said, “All you did was give me another option.”

From there, I realized that while this may help some students, my daughter needed help focusing in, not opening up. My questions went from, “What possibilities exist?” to “What is the most important requirement for a college?” and “If you had to pick one non-negotiable experience you want to have in college, what would it be?” This helped create focus and narrow options.

This is an anxiety-inducing experience. The mental health toll this time of life takes on young people is astounding. The article points out that even if your teen gets into that ‘dream’ school, depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts can linger on as the student acclimates and attempts to excel in college.

The pervasiveness of these issues is a major source of concern. I encourage all parents to pay close attention to any warning signs or indications that your child is struggling. If you have any concern at all, seek help from a medical professional immediately.

Preventing the toll of anxiety is a driving force behind the mission of At The Start and there are strategies parents can employ to help minimize the stress around this decision. Consistent assurance that this is simply a starting point and not the final destination can help ease some of the pressure. While you may not be able to eliminate the stress, being mindful of the anxiety and discussing it openly definitely helps.